I was watching a video about Roger Ebert, who is considered to be one of the greatest film critics to ever live. It got me thinking about how little I am actually putting into this considering that it is a hobby more than anything else. Just seeing how much he put into his reviews, doing five movies a week, writing a review, and talking about it on TV with Jean Siskell. So anybody who is actually reading this tell me anything that I can do to make my reviews better, it would mean a lot just to know that people actually care enough to help me get better at reviewing the things that I am passionate about. And here is an amazing picture to counteract all of that seriousness.

In fact here's another one

Why yes that is an elevator full of snowmen with the face of George Takei....what? You don't have that picture on your iPad....no...ok.

Wow and to think just 3 days ago I said 12 Years a Slave couldn't be topped.

Dallas Buyers Club is the incredible true story of Ron Woodroof(Matthew McConaughey). A homophobic, womanizing, alcoholic, drug addict from Texas(he seems like a real nice guy, huh?), who gets AIDS. This isn't as much a story about him living with AIDS, it's more about him learning to accept all people, and help people to help people, not make money, and him fighting the FDA. Jared Leto plays Rayon or Raymond a cross dresser and drug addict, who Ron meets while in the hospital and slowly becomes friends with after immediately not liking him because he's gay and a cross dresser. this movie mostly focuses on his struggle to get drugs that actually combat AIDS into hospitals instead of drugs the FDA was payed to put in hospitals.

All of the performances in this movie are incredible. This is by far my favorite Jared Leto performance and he was in Fight Club(the best movie ever,ever). This is partially a feel-good movie and partially a depressing look into how people actually treat homosexuals even today. This is probably the closest I have ever been to crying during a movie. The performances are so incredible that I didn't see Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto, I saw Ron Woodroof and Rayon. When they were crying I believed that they were crying, and when they were friends I believed that they were actually friends(not to say Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto hate each other). If anything you should go see this movie because Matthew McConaughey(getting really tired of typing that) and Jared Leto starved themselves to be skinny for this movie.

The cinematography in this movie is beautiful. The director didn't use any artificial light which gives the movie a dirty, grimy look that fits the atmosphere(there's that word again) perfectly. Beware to any kids reading this review, this movie is very awkward to see with parents, because there is a lot of nudity, sex, and language. And you are forced to look at Matthew McCjdosnfiebd's butt.

Once again my only problem with this movie is the people in the theater with me. The people behind me in the theater were laughing whenever a gay person was made fun of, but no time besides that, especially if it was beneficial for someone who isn't straight. Why do all of the best movies have the worst audiences. Rush was another great movie with a terrible audience. In that movie the lady next to me was on her phone the whole movie, and someone laughed during one of the most intense scenes in the movie. So yeah all homophobes don't go see this movie and ruin it for all of the normal, decent, kind, NOT EVIL PEOPLE.....if you can't tell I hate homophobes.

10/10 the new best movie of the year!(yay)

But seriously STUPID, EVIL, homophobes don't watch this movie in the theater. You should however watch it on blu-ray and maybe it will teach you to feel empathy LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!

(If anyone ever is reading this, comment and tell me if my reviews are getting boring because I'm being so positive.)

I've been trying to watch some Martin Scorsese movies in anticipation of The Wolf of Wallstreet, and I've already watched Shutter Island which I will review eventually, but I'm going to start with this movie.

Wow! Now I see why critic 1 loves Leonardo Dicaprio. He plays Billy Costigan, an undercover cop in the mafia, trying to arrest Frank Costello(Jack Nicholson). He is being controlled by his handlers Captain Queenan(Martin Sheen) and Seargent Dingam("Marky" Mark Wahlberg). Costello also has a rat in the police named Colin Sullivan(Matt Damon). So yeah this is a star studded movie and all of them deliver incredible performances. I was on the edge of my seat this entire movie because both Sullivan, and Costello were just on the verge of being caught at all times.

Scorsese just has the touch of gold when it comes to making mysteries involving the mafia. The dialogue, acting, cinematography, and story were all incredible. So this movie was pretty much perfect. There was not a single moment in it when I was bored so I would reccomend this movie to anyone who likes mysteries, or even just movies with amazing dialogue.   This is not a film for the Transformers crowd (even though it's a guilty pleasure for me(Transformers not The Departed))                                             10/10 one of the best, most entertaining movies I've ever watched!

    Wow that was brutal and I am completely and utterly speechless. I saw this movie almost a week ago and I still can't stop thinking about it. This was by far the best movie of the year and everybody needs to watch it to see the injustice of those times. Anyone can watch and enjoy this movie, although they may not be able to watch the whole thing.

    This movie centers around Solomon Northup(Chiwetel Ejiofor) who is a free man that was drugged and sold into slavery while his wife and kids are gone. He is first sold to Ford(Benedict Cumberbatch) who is a bad person because he's a slave owner, but for a slave owner he's okay. He has a second in command played by Seth from Looper who hates Solomon because of how well he is treated. There is not a single bad performance in this movie, even the bit characters who are only in the movie for 10 minutes.

    The insane thing about this movie is that all of this happened. It is based off of a book written by Solomon. It is disturbing how little remorse they have for other humans. They don't even consider them people they think of them as property. They will punish and kill them without a second thought because they know they won't be sent to jail, since slaves are considered property.   I felt dirty after seeing this but I felt dirty in a very good way.

    It's also very well shot, even when there is nothing happening on screen it is still engrossing because of how beautifully done the shot is. I really have only one problem and it doesn't have to do with the movies. It's that behind me there were three of the most obnoxious people I have ever had to watch a movie with. They were talking and laughing during the very intense scenes while everyone else was completely silent, engrossed in this masterpiece of a film. It's a testament to how good this movie is, that near the end of the movie one of them shushed one of the others when they were trying to talk. I will give two of them a pass because they were young, and immature but their dad was also talking and joking around so I won't give him a pass. At one point he practically yells out "what did she do to her" in response to a scene I won't talk about.

    This is the best movie of the year so far narrowly beating out Rush.            10/10 the best, most intense movie to come out this year.

    Hopefully the Wolf of Wallstreet (my most anticipated movie of the year) is even better than this. Although I'm not sure if anything can outdo this, and that is a really good thing

    This was my first Quentin Tarantino movie and now my social life will begin to imitate a slow motion car crash as I begin my quest to watch all of his movies ever(yeah I called it a quest what are you gonna do about it?).

    So yeah I REALLY liked these movies. The reason that I am reviewing them together is because they are meant to be watched one right after the other. Thankfully I got the 2 pack blu-ray(jealous?). So these movies are excellent but not for the squeamish people(weaklings) among us. The first one is one of the most fantastically bloody movies that I have ever seen. If people in this universe got a paper cut anyone near them would be soaked in a bloody mist.....that is a VERY GOOD THING!!! The blood isn't the only thing good about this franchise either unlike some movies*coughSAWcough* they are also really funny and they have a really good story and great cinematography.

     I'll start the review with the first one as you do. Kill bill is about a woman called the Bride played by Uma Thurman who on her wedding day was shot and put into a coma so she wants to well, kill Bill. This movie is done in an anime style which is what makes it so fantastically bloody and ridiculous. Before she kills Bill she also wants to take out the four members of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad who took part in the killing of her. There are 2 members that play big parts in this movie those 2 being Vernita Green(Vivica A. Fox) and O-Ren Ishii(Lucy Liu). All of the characters in this movie are entertaining and incredibly well acted even bit characters like the sheriff(who has one of the best sight gags in the movie). Speaking of the comedy this movie is hilarious. The very beginning of the movie pretty much sets the tone when ""revenge is a dish best served cold." An ancient Klingon proverb" comes up on screen.   These will both be short-ish reviews because I don't want to spoil these awesomtacular movies but just let it be known that this is an amazing movie with great action, hilarious comedy, and of course lots and lots of the red joy juice(I'm not a serial killer I swear.). My only problem with this movie is that the beginning is a bit slow but it's packed with funny dialogue and is setting up the character of the bride so I mostly forgive it.                                                          9.5/10 One of the coolest action movies that I have ever seen.

    Vol.2 is a lot less bloody(aw man) but it is still really good with some great dialogue(yay). It is done more like a western mixed with a Kung Fu movie. I don't have more to say about this movie because the plot is pretty much the same except they switched in some new characters and added in a great twist ending and some more awesome dialogue. That is not at all a bad thing either because it's a sequel to an awesome movie that changes things for the better but also just adds more.       10/10 an amazing movie jam packed with cool dialogue, great action, and an awesome story

    And now there's a teaser trailer for Kill bill 3 which I have seen some great alternate titles for like killed Bill and (redacted for spoilerish reasons) so. Yay!        

..............Why....just why. This movie is just....uh. Sorry I need to compose myself.

Okay let's get started. I just recently read the book that this movie is based on, and this movie absolutely tore this book apart, then super glued random pieces of paper together and said "here's the script, work with it". The book is a masterpiece and it delves into the psychology of these children who have been put into a high stress situation. The movie however practically jingles keys in front of the faces of all of the people watching only occasionally pausing to say "ooooh we're serious and this is all sad you can tell by the music.....keys, keys look at the pretty keys".

It is so very rushed. There are massive plotpoints that are either glanced over or even just scrapped. Asa Butterfield is not good as Ender either. He is just boring although I'm not sure whether it's his acting or the script. The only person who I thought was actually decent was Harrison Ford as Colonel Graff and that is only because well he's Harrison Ford. If this movie wasn't trying to be the next Harry Potter and instead tried to go for a Quentin Tarantino type movie by making it rated R and showing the gritty violence that was in the book but of course they need more MONEY.   I can't believe how much this amazing story was messed up and rushed and I can't even be mad any more I just don't have the energy(it's late as I'm writing this).

I have been a bit very hard on this movie and for very good reason but if you haven't read the book then this movie could be enjoyable but I was VERY disappointed in this movie that I was hoping would be as good as the book. If you aren't lazy i would reccomend reading the book instead of watching the movie. 2/10 ruining a classic story.

Side note: You may have heard the news about Orson Scott Card being a massive disgusting homophobe. I am just as disgusted by this as you hopefully are but don't worry he will not be making any money off of the movie. If you want to read the book I would reccomend either borrowing it from a friend or a library but if you can't you could probably still get the book because the profits from it are only about 0.01% of his painfully large amount of money. Still if you can don't give him any of your hard earned money that he can put towards hate, and bigotry.

And now, drumroll please....... No ok. It's the big one(no more I promise). The grudge is a terrifying movie that is an American remake of the Japanes movie Ju-on. The original is supposed to be much scarier but I am much too lazy to read subtitles.

The Grudge is the scariest movie that I have ever seen for a very good reason. It has an atmosphere(the buzzword of the month) of despair and helplessness because there is no way to escape the ghost. Another thing that makes this movie terrifying is that there are no breaks. In most horror movies the day is safe and a break from the terror but in this movie there is no break the ghost can get to you at anytime of the day.

I don't want to say much else because this is a movie to be experienced so I will wrap up the review here. This movie is terrifying and managed to put one of my friends(what! He has friends(yes I have friends(jerk)))off of horror movies forever. If you are a big horror movie fan you should definitely watch this, but if you aren't you should probably work your way up to it or else you will end up like my friend scared of his own shadow(please don't break my legs anonymous friend(do I use parentheses too often(yes))).                                              10/10 the most horrifyingly, nightmare inducingly, terrifyingly, scary movie I have ever seen.