*Ahem* OPINIONS OPINIONS OPINIONS. OPINIONS, OPINIONS OPI-INI-INI-INI-INIONS......OPINIONS!! *disclaimer* No matter what jokes I make I don't hate people who like these movies.
#10. The Conjuring
This is probably the least subjective one on this list since I actually enjoyed this movie. The reason it's here is that it failed in what it set out to do, which was to scare me. Really this movie made me laugh. Like I said in my review it might be just because I love horror movies, but because I was expecting to be terrified by this movie it was disappointing to me. And with that all of the objectivity in this list goes out the window.
I would recommend this movie to anybody who likes a funny horror movie(I'm probably just messed up and it's not that funny.)
I would recommend this movie to anybody who likes a funny horror movie(I'm probably just messed up and it's not that funny.)
#9. The Croods
I wasn't expecting much out of this movie......and I didn't get much. All of the emotion was sucked out of the movie because the dad was voiced by NICOLAS CAGE the professional so bad he's good actor. The action was fun and the colors were vibrant but it didn't have any substance. it was fun to watch during the action, but any of the downtime was unbelievably clichéd.
I would recommend this movie to anybody who likes an animated movie but they don't require much substance. Think Year One if it were animated and didn't have the upside of it starring Jack Black.
I would recommend this movie to anybody who likes an animated movie but they don't require much substance. Think Year One if it were animated and didn't have the upside of it starring Jack Black.
#8. Turbo
This movie has The Croods-itis, in that it's pretty to look at and some of the action was really enjoyable but the story was just a generic racing movie......oh and SNAILS! So pretty much just look at the previous entry and replace Nicolas Cage with Samuel L. Jackson.
I would recommend this movie to people who like The Croods.
I would recommend this movie to people who like The Croods.
#7. Mama
Mama was like The Conjuring, because it wasn't very scary, but I wasn't really entertained by it either. The main characters were unlikeable, and I think that the CGI was way overdone in this movie. Guillermo Del Toro is a master of making CGI blend with the real environments.....not in this movie. "Mama" looked unbelievably silly when they finally revealed her at the end of the movie. Speaking of the end of the movie, I think that the ending was way to cheesy for the atmosphere that they had set up throughout the movie. The little girls were sufficiently creepy near the start of the movie, but when the focus switches from them to "Mama" the tensions completely goes away, and it turns into a generic ghost movie.
I would recommend this movie to anyone who doesn't watch many horror movies.
I would recommend this movie to anyone who doesn't watch many horror movies.
#6. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2
PUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE YOU LIKE PUNS!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THERE'S A LEEK IN THE BOAT!!!!! HA!!!!!..........*phew* okay......I've calmed down now. I had some high hopes for this movie because the first one was a pretty good family movie. This on the other hand was the equivalent of jangling keys in the face of the audience for 2 hours(which also coincidentally is pretty much what these reviews are). My real problem with this movie is that it was absolutely gorgeous but every joke was really predictable and the plot was beyond generic. It was kept slightly entertaining in it's vibrant colors and animation, but a movie can't get away on looks alone (if they could Michael Bay would be a master of film making).
I would recommend this movie to anyone who likes...........
PUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would recommend this movie to anyone who likes...........
PUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#5. A Talking Cat!?!
As I said I didn't finish this movie. I at least made throughout the rest of the movies on this list, I even made it through #1. This still isn't higher on the list purely because.......I can't care.
I would recommend this movie to people who like to watch paint dry, while grass grows to the side, and a One Republic cover being sung by Foreigner plays in the background.
I would recommend this movie to people who like to watch paint dry, while grass grows to the side, and a One Republic cover being sung by Foreigner plays in the background.
#4. Enders Game
........I think I'm ready to talk about this movie without bursting a blood vessel......I think. Enders Game was the most disappointing movie I've ever watched. I was expecting a lot from this movie due to the book being one of the best science fiction stories I've ever read. The movie on the other hand was one of the most generic movies I've ever seen. If you haven't noticed yet I've been complaining that most of these movies are generic.......because I have......yeah. My biggest problem with Enders Game is that it took away all of the character development and just decided to make Ender generic sci-fi hero #25739. The book was a character study with some really interesting characters. The book was at least decently subtle, but this movie was about as subtle as a train wreck.......on a plane.....that turns into a transformer and tears it's way through a giant billboard that says "FEEL SOMETHING!!!!!".....in 3D. As I said in my review the script for this movie was most likely made by tearing apart the book then super gluing random parts together. Incidentally I think I'm being a bit hard on this movie.
I would recommend this movie to anybody who thinks that Looper is too confusing.
I would recommend this movie to anybody who thinks that Looper is too confusing.
#3. A Haunted House
They may as well have called this movie Found Footage Movie because that's pretty much what it is. The whole idea of this type of movie is pointing out movies and saying "hahaha that existed right guys?!" without actually making a joke out of it they just point out that it existed. They don't even wait to see if the movie that they're "parodying" will be remembered. By doing that they date the movie instead of something like Space Balls or Airplane which can still be enjoyed to this day. I've been told that the Wayans brothers are funny but I'm finding that very hard to believe after watching this train wreck.
I would recommend his movie to anyone who likes "movie movies".
I would recommend his movie to anyone who likes "movie movies".
#2. inappropriate Comedy
The tagline of this movie is "An equal opportunity offender"...........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Wow would you look at that, this movie actually made me laugh......wow. This movie is like a Neo-Nazi in that it offends everyone except white, straight, Christian men. Another thing that I learned about this movie is that most of the stuff in it happened to real people. If I want to see people getting pranked I'll just go on YouTube. The quality of Inappropriate Comedy is summed up in the sentence "it stars Rob Schneider." take that how you will.
I would recommend this to anyone who likes Rob Schneider.
I would recommend this to anyone who likes Rob Schneider.
#1. Movie 43
Movie 43 is just STUPID. It is the most moronic, disgusting, mindless movie I've ever seen. It's what the guys on Welcome to the Basement (check them out they're awesome) would call a talent bomb. It's a bunch of incredibly talented people working on an unbelievably awful movie. Imagine a movie starring Hugh Jackman, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloe Grace Moretz, Emma Stone, Uma Thurman, Halle Berry, and Johnny Knoxville. Sounds really good right? Now imagine that it's a sketch comedy that has 11 directors. Does it still sound good? Yes..........NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Every single joke was unbelievably stupid. The idea of the movie is that this movie is really, really bad. Instead of scrapping that idea and saying "No that's stupid, We should do a good movie instead." they decided to make it and just market it in a way that shows NOTHING about the movie. The rest of the movies on this list at least had one or two good moments in them, but this had absolutely nothing to give. I feel stupider for having seen this movie and I wouldn't recommend this movie to my worst enemy.
I would recommend this movie to anyone who was JUGGLED AS A BABY. (I repeat this is all in the name of comedy, I don't hate people who like this movie.) JUGGLED AS A BABY!
Every single joke was unbelievably stupid. The idea of the movie is that this movie is really, really bad. Instead of scrapping that idea and saying "No that's stupid, We should do a good movie instead." they decided to make it and just market it in a way that shows NOTHING about the movie. The rest of the movies on this list at least had one or two good moments in them, but this had absolutely nothing to give. I feel stupider for having seen this movie and I wouldn't recommend this movie to my worst enemy.
I would recommend this movie to anyone who was JUGGLED AS A BABY. (I repeat this is all in the name of comedy, I don't hate people who like this movie.) JUGGLED AS A BABY!
I am so sorry that this was this late but......I'm lazy okay. I am hopefully going to fix this by giving myself a schedule. It will be a sort of loose form thing but it will hopefully help me to continue to write on here. My schedule will be at least one video on the weekend and maybe the occasional video on a week day. No specific dates because I know that I wouldn't be able to do that, so I'm just taking baby steps into the idea of regular content. I would love to put out more stuff but I still have to deal with school and home life so this is the best I can do for now. And now to make up for my perpetual lateness here are some stupid pictures I found on the Internet.
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